Videogames IRL: Destiny
by sovietshadow
Summary: Have you ever wondered what your favorite games would be like if they were real, but the characters acted exactly as they were portrayed by the gaming community? In the real world, what would be the logic behind your character's behavior or game mechanics? Well now you can find out in this hilarious rendition of Destiny! Videogames In Real Life: Destiny Edition.
1. Out On Patrol

**Ever wonder what would happen if a videogame was real? If the universe you played in, the universe you came to know and love, really existed just as you played it? But then what would be the logic behind how your character behaved? What would be the logic behind game mechanics? If the characters really acted as gamers played them, what would happen? I am the soviet shadow, and I am the narrator of this, the true story of the gaming world. Enjoy :)**

 **Link... START!**

The Fallen scavengers rummaged around the broken remains of the dropship, searching for whatever the hell they're always searching for, while Jason watched them through his scout rifle's scope. He was hiding among a cluster of grey rocks (that's pretty much all you get on the Moon) and waiting for his moment. When all of the Fallen were out of cover Jason stroked the trigger. A Vandal's head exploded and the other Fallen froze. Jason fired another round and a Dreg fell with a gaping hole in its chest.

The rest of the Fallen scattered, crouching down and leaping behind the cover of the dropship rubble or other rocks. Jason ran out of his own cover and jumped, letting the lower gravity of the Moon float him over the heads of the Fallen, then sprayed a hail of bullets on them from above. When he landed behind them, Jacob ran forward and fired two more rounds before he reloaded. As he got closer one of the Vandals screamed a challenge, a roaring cry that was abruptly terminated as Jacob's throwing knife stabbed into its throat.

Jacob grabbed the knife as he passed, then slid to avoid a volley fired from a Dreg's shock pistol. He fired a few shots point blank as he got closer to the Dreg, which gutted the Fallen. He heard a roar behind him and fired over his shoulder without aiming. The Stealth Vandal that had been about to put a blade in his back fell with its head blown off. Now all of the Fallen were dead except a Dreg trying to crawl away. Jacob soon rectified that with a shot to its head. As the sound of that last shot quickly faded away in the thin air, Jacob looked around at the group of dead Fallen and scoffed, "Scrubs."

Jacob's Ghost chirped, and the words "NoobSlayer69 is near" popped up in the bottom-right of his Heads-Up Display. A second later the shriek of a Sparrow came up behind him. A Warlock in bright pink robes jumped off the speeding Sparrow and barely missed knocking Jason flat. "Hey, Scrub lord, how's it going?"

Jason sighed. "I told you before, Kyle, my name's Jason."

Kyle chuckled. "And I told _you,_ Scrub lord, that my tag's NoobSlayer69."

Now Jason helmet-palmed. "Traveler, I hate whoever thought it was a good idea to allow us to have our own tags."

Kyle chuckled again. "You think mine's bad? You should check out Tracer420Lit over there." Kyle pointed to a female Titan on the ridge a few dozen meters in front of them, who was watching them through the scope of her sniper rifle. After Kyle pointed, the Titan waved back at them. They all looked at each other for a few more seconds, then the Titan shot at them.

Jacob flinched as the supersonic bullet hit his chest armor. "Hey, dumbass, watch who you're shooting!"

The Titan didn't answer and instead drove away on her Sparrow.

Jason sighed once more, then said. "At least friendly fire doesn't count on patrol."

Kyle nodded. "Speaking of patrol, I'm working on a bounty right now. Want to Fireteam?"

"Sure." Jason replied. A few seconds later he got the request and accepted it. Jason entered the private Fireteam chat and asked, "So what's the bounty?" as they moved to a different area to find more Fallen.

"I need to get thirty headshots without dying. shouldn't be too hard, and I already have twenty-two." responded Kyle.

"Cool, I'm doing the same one. That and I need to get twenty melee kills."

"You're a Hunter; should be easy to get that one." Kyle stopped walking and cocked his head. "Hey, you ever wonder why we have these bounties?"

"What do you mean?"

Kyle shrugged. "I mean, why do we have to get all of these different kinds of kills? A dead alien is a dead alien, doesn't matter how we kill it. And how do they know we killed them that way? We could just blow up a group of them with a grenade and say we knifed 'em. Who would know the difference?"

Jason thought about that for a few seconds, then said, "The Architects would know."

"Who the hell are the Architects?" Asked Kyle.

"Exactly. Now stop asking stupid questions."

Kyle sighed, then said, "Ok, let's just get this over with. There's some over there." Kyle pulled out his sniper rifle and scoped in for a few seconds, then fired. A Vandal's head exploded in a burst of light and Jason said, "Nice shot."

"Thank you." Replied Kyle before firing two more shots, both of them headshots.

"Dude, you're killing it!" Exclaimed Jason.

Kyle replaced his magazine and fired a few more carefully placed rounds. When only one Dreg remained, Kyle said, "Ok, I only need one more so I'm going to trickshot this guy. I'm going to run past him, jump on that crate, then onto the accelerator, then I'm going to jump off it, do a three-sixty, and no-scope him before I hit the ground."

"Do you think you can pull that off?"

"Watch me." Kyle ran forward and jumped past the Dreg, which fired wildly trying to hit the Warlock. Kyle blinked up to the crate and then to the accelerator. After switching through all of his weapons briefly, Kyle jumped off the accelerator and spun around. Seemingly in slow motion Jason watched Kyle spin while the Dreg threw a shock grenade. Kyle fired and hit the Dreg, but missed the head and instead hit its chest. When he hit the ground, Kyle shouted, "I _missed_!" a split second before the Dreg's grenade exploded. Kyle was flung away by the explosion, flying past Jason's head and down the side of a dune.

Kyle rubbed his helmet over the spot where a bruise was forming on his head. "Ow..." After a second he added, "Uhhhhhh... It's saying I'm out of the map."

Jacob ran over to the top of the dune and looked down at Kyle, who was futilely trying to jump back up the side of the sand mountain before the timer ran out. "Oh shit."

Kyle frantically scrabbled up the gray sand, but kept sliding right back down. "Help me!"

Jacob got on his stomach and reached down. "Take my hand!"

Kyle tried to grab it, but kept slipped further down. "Oh Traveler! Not like this!"

Jacob reached a bit further down and finally grabbed Kyle. "I've got you!" But before he could pull Kyle up, the pink Warlock gave a strangled cry and went limp. "Kyle?" Jason shook Kyle's limp body, but the Warlock didn't respond. "No, Kyle!" Jacob held on for a few seconds longer, then let go of him. He cradled his head in his hands for a few seconds, then looked up into the starry sky. "Why, Traveler, why?! He was so young!"

"Very funny, dude, but you can stop now." Said a voice behind Jacob.

Jacob turned around and laughed. "I know, but it's still funny."

Kyle laughed with him. "Yeah, you're right. 'He was so young!' Classic. At least we weren't in a Darkness zone."

Jacob cocked his head. "Yeah, but don't you still have to redo the bounty?"

Kyle stopped laughing. He checked his Ghost for a second, then said, "Dammit, you're right; And now I'm out of special ammo. Do you know what you can headshot with an auto rifle? Nothing!"

Jason patted Kyle on the back. "Cheer up, bro. At least you aren't using a fusion rifle."

Kyle pouted. "I told you to stop bugging me about that. Just because I don't have Sleeper Simulant yet doesn't mean you have to be mean."

Jacob switched heavy weapons and pulled the weapon off his back. "You have to admit," He said, stroking it, "it's pretty cool. Can you do _this_ with a machine gun?" The Hunter aimed briefly before firing, and a blindingly bright beam of energy left the fusion rifle to hit a Vandal across the map near the end of the accelerator.

"One word:" said Kyle, pulling out his own heavy weapon. "Thunderlord."

"Hang on, that's two words."

The pink Titan shook his head. "No, the name is one word."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Screw that, I'm looking it up in the Vanguard room when we get back to the Tower."

Kyle shrugged. "Do what you want, but I need to work on this bounty."

"You need help with a bounty?" Asked a British voice behind the two. When they turned around they saw the same female Titan who had been looking at them before.

Jacob helmet-palmed. "She had to be British..." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" She asked. "Anyway, I'm working on a bounty too. I need a higher light level on my armour and I'm farming for engrams. Wanna Fireteam-up?"

"I don't know..." Said Jacob. "We already have two peopl-"

Kyle interrupted Jacob with an "Ahem" and whispered into his ear. "Dude, it's a _girl_. Let's invite her."

"I don't care if she's a girl, she shot me earlier!"

"... You guys do realize that just because you're whispering into your mics that doesn't mean I can't hear you, right? Seriously, I need those armour engrams."

Jacob sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day. "And now she's messing with the formatting..." He looked up and adressed the Titan. "Fine, you can join."

"Thanks." Replied the Titan. "Let's head over to the accelerator building; that servitor always gives good loot."

Kyle shook his head. "I have a patrol mission to kill that Wizard in the Hive Fortress. We can hit those Wolves after we're done.

Jacob stepped in. "First we have to find some ether sups."

"No." Said Kyle. "We need to kill the Wizard first."

"Ether sups first!"

"Wizard first!"

"Ether sups!"

"Wizard!"

"Ether!"

"Wizar-"

"Ladies!" Shouted the Titan. "You're both very pretty. Now stop arguing; seriously, are you Guardians or children?"

Kyle and Jason stopped and looked at each other for a moment, then turned to their new Fireteam member. "Children." They said simultaneously.

The Titan sighed. "Fine. We'll just-" The ground suddenly shook, and the sky turned blue. All three of their Ghosts chirped and said "Hold on?" Then a new message popped up in their HUDs: "Defend the Warsat."

"A public mission?" Asked Jason.

"Looks like it." Responded Kyle. "Hey, where are you going?" He asked the female Titan, who was stepping back from the two of them. She pointed towards the sky and they both looked up to see the Warsat coming down... Right towards them.

"Mother."

"Fucker."

With an almighty crash and flare of light the Warsat hit the ground, crushing both Jason and Kyle underneath it. The female Titan stepped past their Ghosts and activated the Warsat, then came back and revived them. "What the fuck was that for?!" Exclaimed Jason.

The Titan didn't answer for a second, turning around and dealing with a clutch of Fallen, then said over her shoulder, "Eh, it was worth the overshield."

Jason turned to Kyle, who was nodding. "She's right," Said the Warlock. "I would do it."

"Just shut up."

Before Kyle could say anything else, A Fallen Skiff flew in and disgorged a score of Vandals and Dregs. Jason raised his scout rifle and fired, taking down two Dregs in quick succession. He put two shots into a Vandal, but an auto rifle burst finished it off. Jason glared at Kyle. "You stole my kill!" Jason couldn't see Kyle's face under his helmet, but he swore he could _feel_ the Warlock stick his tongue out. But when Kyle went back to shooting a Servitor it was suddenly killed by a precision shot to the eye and he heard Jason shout, "Get good, scrub!"

While the Hunter and Warlock argued, the Titan was killing Fallen left and right. She fired a few shotgun spreads into a Vandal until it flew back with a gaping hole in its chest, then turned and put a shell point-blank into a Reaver Captain's face. When it fell back with a missing head, an armour engram popped out of its headless corpse. "Yes! Engram!" She whooped, shortly before a Stealth Vandal slashed at here from behind. She flew forward with a cry of pain and landed on the dusty ground, then rolled over and put two shots into its head with her sidearm. "You son of a _bitch!_ " She shouted, her voicing changing halfway through the sentence. "You broke my voice changer!"

Kyle and Jason stopped shooting and looked over. "You're a guy?!"

The _male_ Titan turned to them and said, "Yeah... sorry 'bout that. I bought this voice changer and then thought it would be funny to buy female armour and troll other guys, but I accidentally dismantled my other armour and I've been trying to farm armour ever since. I didn't mean to mess with you. Can you forgive me?"

Kyle and Jason looked at him, then at each other, then back to him and at the same time said, "Screw that." They took out their Ghosts and when to orbit without even completing the public mission, leaving the fake girl behind.

"I can't believe we got trolled like that." Started Kyle.

"What did you expect? You forgot one of the most important rules out here, bro." Replied Jason over their ships' comms.

"What rule?"

"Rule 30: There are no babes on the internet." Said Jason, suddenly sage-like.

"What's the internet?" asked Kyle.

"No clue, NoobSlayer, but it sounded like the right thing to say."

 **And thus ends the first chapter of Videogames IRL Destiny Edition. Please tell me what you think about it, and tell me if you would like some more of this. If the response is good enough, I might even branch out and try this with other games (I would love to write a Skyrim Edition).**

 **On another more serious note, I would like to apologize to all of the fans of my Destiny: the Risen series. I know it's been more than a year since I updated, but I've been having problems with my computer and corrupted files (damn you Windows 10!) and I've been trying to complete it on Google Docs but my account got hacked a few days ago. I only wrote this because it was something short I could get out in a day without having to close my computer and give it a chance to corrupt the file. The only good news is that when I finally do update, the chapter will be a long one-the draft I was working on in Docs was more than ten pages long and I was only halfway done. Please hang in there and know that I will never give up on you guys.**

 **Never stop writing, never stop reading. Sovietshadow out.**


	2. PvP Panic

**Yes, I know I wrote another chapter of this instead of working on Destiny: The Risen. Well, actually I did work on it, and on this too, until my computer decided "screw you I'm corrupting your files again." Well I knew this was going to be shorter to write, and I like the comedic stress relief, so here you go I made you guys another chapter of Videogames IRL. Enjoy**

 **Link... START!**

Jason was bored. The Vanguard had no new missions for him, he had spent hours grinding out patrols, and he couldn't even go to into the City now that he was a Guardian. He was reduced to exploring the corners of the Tower, an activity he knew meant that he truly had nothing else to do.

Now Jason was trying to jump onto Holliday's orange chart to get underneath the hangar, while the shipwright looked on with an unamused expression. "Could you, you know, _not_ do that?" She asked.

"I'm trying to get into the Hangar. It's not my fault all of the doors locked when I became a Guardian. And if it wasn't for those stupid invisible barriers on the railings I would just be able to jump into it."

"You've been doing this for thirty minutes." She said. "I want my board back."

"Why?" Asked Jason, finally getting on top of the chart. "What does it even do?"

"It does... Well," Holliday stuttered, "You see, it shows... Yeah, I got nothing. None of these boards around here actually do anything; they just look cool."

Jason nodded slowly. "That's... Pretty much what I thought. Anyway, you can have your useless chart-thing back now." Jason jumped backwards and over the railing, then fell straight down. He hit the ground in a roll, hugged the wall, then sprinted and slid twice to avoid the barriers. He made a few more turns, jumped on to a crate, and sat down in one of his favorite spots. He leaned back, laced his hands behind his head, and closed his eyes. "Finally, peace and quiet."

That lasted for all of two seconds. "Hey, how did you get down there?"

Jason opened one eye and saw Arach Jalaal, the Dead Orbit patron, peering between the stanchions of the platform Jason was sitting under. "There's a..." Jason debated whether he should tell him about the glitch in the Architects' design. Jalaal was the equivalent of space Severus Snape, but it was a testimate to just how bored Jason was that he actually considered telling him. "You just have to jump on Holliday's chart and then jump into the hangar."

The Dead Orbit patron looked down at his feet. "I would do that, but... I can't move."

Jason cocked his head. "You what now?"

He shrugged. "You think us faction leaders just stand around in the same spot all day because we like to? No, we're stuck here. When I took the job, they never said tha-" A Hunter jumped over the hangar's railing and sprinted towards Jalaal, then slid the last few feet and proceeded to teabag in front of him. Jalaal sighed and looked back to Jason. "See what I have to deal with? I can't even walk away. I'm forced to deal with all of these idiots! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a 'valuable' member of Dead Orbit to talk to."

The Dead Orbit patron started to talk to the Guardian. Jason stared for a few moments, then shook his head and went back to relaxing. Once again, that lasted for about two seconds.

"Ya know, I always suspected they were stuck like that."

Jason sighed. "Kyle, what are you doing here?"

"I know where you hang out, scrub lord."

Jason cracked open an eye and saw the pink Warlock peeking out from the crate he had been hiding behind. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Kyle rolled out from behind the crate. "Because, unlike you, I don't have a stick up my ass. _I'm_ not bored because I know how to have fun."

"And how's that?"

Kyle paused for a second. "Um... Well, first you could..."

Jason chuckled. "You have no clue either, do you?"

Kyle shook his head. "N-no, I just need to-to think of... Well, I can't think of anything while you're staring at me with that creepy helmet."

"What do you have against Skyburners Annex?" Asked Kyle. "And don't change the subject."

"Seriously though, it's creepy."

"But it'll look awesome when I get that full Desolate set."

Kyle grabbed Jason and shook him. "You fool! Don't you realize it's all a scam! They just want your silver! And even when you buy the Sterling Treasures all you'll get is Spektar armor! Don't do it!"

Jason slapped Kyle's hands away. " Fine, I'll take it off. Let me just open the menu."

"What?" Asked Kyle. "What menu?"

Jason pulled out his Ghost. "I need to change my settings to 'helmet off.'

"Dude, just pull your helmet off."

Jason shook his head. "It doesn't work that way."

Kyle cocked his head. "It doesn't?"

"You don't know?" Asked Jason.

Kyle shrugged. "I never wear my helmet in the Tower. I just spawn in this way. I figured it just stays on my jumpship for some reason."

Jason helmet-palmed. "Ok, look, just do this." He pointed to his Ghost. "Go to the menu, past the magical inventory that weighs nothing, and enter the settings menu."

Kyle pulled out his own Ghost and checked it. "Huh. You're right." He stuck out a finger and pointed at the menu. "But what are all of these other options?" Before Jason could answer, Kyle flicked his finger and then suddenly shouted. "What the hell?! I'm blind! It's dark and I can't see anything!"

Jason laughed. "You found the brightness setting, didn't you?"

Kyle started waving his hand in front of his face. "What the hell is this? I'm not even wearing my helmet; how can they change the brightness for your _eyes_?!"

Jason shrugged. "Hell if I know. Just flick the bar the other way."

Kyle flicked the bar all the way up. "Ow, too bright! _Too bright!_ " The suffering Warlock lowered the setting slightly. "Ok, that's better."

"Are you done yet?" Asked Jason. "Can we get back on topic? Don't get me wrong; seeing you in pain is amusing and all, but I really need something to do."

Kyle thought about it for a moment, then said, "What about the Crucible?"

"The Crucible? Will Shaxx even let us back in?"

"Why would Shaxx have a problem with it?" Questioned Kyle.

Jason hesitated. "Well, you know, remember what happened _last time_?"

Kyle deadpanned. "Oh. Right. That _..._ "

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Jason jumped behind a sheet of rusty metal and turned around to return fire at the Guardian who was chasing him. He fired two bursts with his pulse rifle, dodged a throwing knife, and then put the Guardian down with a third burst. "And Stay down, Biatch!" He shouted._

 _While he reloaded, a certain pink Warlock came up behind him. "Hey, Jason, you missed the heavy ammo drop."_

 _"Kinda busy here, Kyle." Said Jason, calmly taking down a second opposing Guardian._

 _Kyle cleared his throat. "I know, but look what I've got."_

 _Jason sighed and crouched down to hide behind the sheet of metal. He turned to Kyle and asked, "What do you ha-" Then he saw what Kyle was holding. "Holy shit, is that what I think that is?"_

 _"That's right." Responded Kyle, hefting the golden-plated rocket launcher. "Meet my new Gjallarhorn."_

 _"Awesome." Exclaimed Jason. "Have you unlocked any mods for it yet?"_

 _Jason heard the smile in Kyle's voice. "No. But I got something even better."_

 _"What?"_

 _Kyle laughed. "I payed this guy to hack it for me."_

 _Jason stared. "Can't you get banned for that?"_

 _Kyle shrugged. "_ I _didn't hack it; the other guy did."_

 _Jason nodded. "Ok. So what does it do?"_

 _"Well," Kyle chuckled, "Now it fires-" He looked over Jason's shoulder and brought the exotic launcher up. "Behind you!"_

 _They saw the mushroom cloud from the Tower._

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"Nah." Said Kyle, waving away the memory. "Shouldn't be a problem."

"Fine then, let's go." Responded Jason. The two of them jumped down a pipe and died, then respawned at the entrance to the hangar. They passed the defective robot that was always sweeping the same corner, exited the hangar and went around a group of dancing Titans, then they jumped down the stairs of the Vanguard hall (because walking is for noobs). When they arrived at Lord Shaxx's station, he greeted the pair with, "With Guardians like these, no wonder we are losing."

"It's nice to see you too, Shaxx." Responded Jason.

Kyle, on the other hand, responded with the much less professional, "Hey, Shaxxquille O'Neal, how's it hanging?"

Jason could feel Shaxx's exasperation under his helmet as the Crucible Lord turned to him, and Jason returned the look with a "now you know what I have to deal with" expression. "So, Shaxx," Jason began, "We were wondering if we could join a Crucible match...?"

Shaxx pretended to think about it for a moment and rubbed the chin of his helmet, then said, "No."

"What, why?" Asked Kyle. "Is this because of that Shaxxquille O'Neal thing I said earlier?"

The Crucible Lord nodded. "It was not, but now that is part of the reason. Do you two happen to remember what happened _last time_ I let you into the Crucible?"

Kyle fell to his knees and clasped his hands together. "Please, Shaxx, you have to let us in!" He begged. "We don't have anything else to do!"

"No." Responded Shaxx.

"What abou-" Began Kyle, but Jason stepped in front of the pink Warlock and cut him off. "Can I go?" Asked the Hunter. "I didn't have anything to do with that last time. Kyle did it, not me."

Before Shaxx could reply, Jason heard Kyle shout, "traitor" indignantly behind him. The Crucible Lord thought about it for a few moments, then asked. "You did not have anything to do with that previous... _incident_?"

Jason shook his head. "Kyle had some guy hack it for him. I was just a bystander."

Lord Shaxx nodded again. "If that is the case, then you may go. A moment of idleness could spell doom for us all."

Kyle's eyes grew wide with accusation as he looked at Jason. "You asshole! You're just going to leave me out to dry?"

"Relax." Whispered Jason as they walked away from the Crucible Lord. "Now I just have to sneak you in."

"How are you going to do that?" Asked Kyle.

"Trust me." Responded the Hunter. "I have a plan."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Worst. Plan. Ever."

"What, it's not that bad."

"I'm wearing Titan armor!" Exclaimed Kyle.

"So what?" Replied Jason. "You wanted to get into the Crucible, so I signed you in using my guest account."

Kyle looked down at the white and brown armor he was currently wearing. "But I'm only light level twenty! My primary is a Khvostov, for fuck's sake!"

Jason sighed. "Just deal with it, Kyle. You wanted to play in the Crucible, so now you can." Jason only heard low grumbling from Kyle's end of the line, so he said, "Look, if you do this, I promise I'll go on a Raid with you."

"Really?" Asked the not-so-pink Titan.

"Really." Answered Jason. Then he turned off his mic and said under his breath, "Oh Traveler, what have I gotten myself into this time?"

After a few more seconds of transit, the pair joined a Control match on the Pantheon that was just about to start. "Ready?" Asked Jason.

"No."

"Good. Let's do this."

Their ships broke orbit and flew over the battlefield, then transmatted all of the Guardians to their respective sides. When they spawned at the A control point, Jason had the banner in his hand and hit it against the ground in what he hoped was an awesome pose.

"Damn it, I wanted the flag." Murmered Kyle.

"Too bad, it's mine, bitch." Replied Jason over Shaxx's platitude to each team.

Half the team ran off and the other half stayed to capture the first control point. Jason and Kyle were two of the three running towards B, while the third was a four-foot-tall Titan desperately trying to keep up with the pair. "HEY GUYS, WAIT FOR ME!" He said with a high-pitched whine.

Kyle winced and put a hand to his helmet. "Ow! Turn down your mic!" He turned to Jason and shook his head. "Fucking squeaker; who let's these guys become Guardians?"

"I HEARD THA-" The tiny Titan was cut off as he took a beam of energy to the face. Kyle and Jason slid into cover a moment before another beam scythed over their heads. "They have a Queenbreaker!" Shouted Jason through the team channel.

"WHAT?" Asked the squeaker as he respawned and turned the corner just in time to be shot in the head again.

"For fuck's sake!" Said Jason. Under cover of their team's sniper, two opposing Guardians ran foeward and started to capture the middle control point. Kyle threw a grenade over the wall he and Jason were hiding behind, but the enemy Guardians responded with grenades of their own. Jason and Kyle rolled away from each other, narrowly dodging two flavors of explosives.

Jason noticed an opposing Guardian getting closer on his motion tracker, so he switched to his shotgun just in time as a Warlock blinked over the wall. The Warlock was within five feet, so he never stood a chance. Jason blew the enemy Guardian away, then turned as another one jumped over the wall. The enemy Titan charged him and Jason fired, but when the pellets went past fifteen feet they abruptly changed to cotton candy. Jason racked the slide and just had time to say "Damn shotgun physi-" before he was cut off by the Titan's shoulder charge.

Jason respawned and waved a friendly Warlock over to him. "They've taken B point. Let's go into the tunnel and flank them." Instead of following Jason, the Warlock punched him and then ran past to charge head-on to the middle control point. Jason sighed, "Fine, I'll do it myself." Jason charged down the side and flanked the B point, quickly taking down the two opposing Guardians on it while they were distracted by the rest of his team.

Jason noticed a shimmer of motion out of the corner of his eye and dodged the melee attack of the invisible Hunter who had been sprinting towards him. Jason put two bursts into the Hunter and took a blink strike in return. Jason backed off and put another burst into the Hunter, killing her.

Jason turned back to the middle, where Kyle was capturing the B point. The fake Titan waved to Jason and said, "Thanks for the help." Jason was about to reply when a Warlock jumped over the center pillar and fell on Kyle. The Warlock punched Kyle twice in quick succession, then jumped up and started shooting at Jason. Jason fired back, managing to score two headshots and avenging Kyle.

With that last kill, Jason's Super finished charging. He rushed forward into the B point and ran past the pillar, then remembered the sniper. He ran forward and activated his Super, but the sniper heard the noise. While Jason was pulling out his flaming hand cannon, the sniper-a Hunter in full Desolate armor-jumped up and fired, slotting Jason in the head. "Denied!" He heard the Hunter shout.

When Jason respawned, he was furious. "Oh, so you want to play like that, do you?" Jason switched weapons and pulled out his Thorn. "I'll show you how it feels to be killed by cheap weapons."

While Jason was switching, one of his other teammates respawned. The friendly Hunter noticed his teammate pull out the infamous hand cannon and put a hand on Jason's shoulder. "You're cancer. Please kill yourself." He said before running off.

Jason shook his head. At least he wasn't using a Gjallarhorn. And speaking of rocket launchers...

"HEAVY AMMO INCOMING!" Shouted the squeaker. Jason ran down the stairs on the left side and jumped to the middle platform where one of his teammates was loading her machine gun. Jason landed next to her and grabbed a load of rockets. "Yeah, let's go!" Then the enemy Warlock appeared and fired his nova bomb.

"Ffffffuuuuuuu-" Jason respawned at the C point and ran towards the middle again. Before he got far an opposing Titan ran out of the tunnel on his left, then stopped right in front of Jason. Jason stopped and glared at the Titan, who continued to stand still. After staring at each other for several seconds, Jason reached forward and stabbed at the Titan. The knife connected, but the Titan still remained in place. Jason stabbed again, then a third time, but the Titan somehow survived the attacks. "What the hell?" Asked Jason, shortly before the Titan disappeared altogether.

The Hunter looked around in panic, then noticed the Titan behind and running toward him. Jason backed up and fired several bursts into the Titan, but the enemy Guardian kept running forwards. But right before he reached Jason, the Titan teleported back several yards and continued his run before teleporting back again. Jason threw a knife, but then the opposing Titan disappeared again and appeared at Jason's right. Finally understanding what was going on, Jason's throat seized in panic as he shouted, "LAAAAAGGGGG!" He spun a complete circle and shot in every direction, then threw a grenade at his feet and ran for it. A few seconds later he got a hit marker and points for the kill. He had somehow managed to escape every Guardian's worst nightmare. After that horrifying encounter, he decided to continue his run to the middle capture point. When he neared the infamous sniper pillars he noticed Kyle attempting to snipe with his stock rifle.

Kyle heard Jason's footsteps and turned to the Hunter. "Hey, scrub, how's it going?"

Jason sighed. "Not well. I keep dying."

Kyle fired without looking, killing an enemy Titan with a headshot, then said, "That's because you keep going out alone, dumbass."

Jason shook his head. "No, it's because our entire team is full of noobs and the enemy team was trained by the Spetsnaz or something! Why is it that every time I play the Crucible this happens to me?"

Kyle shrugged. "Bad luck? RNG? Or maybe it's because I overheard Shaxx say he was going to make us fight the current top clan in the Crucible because of what happened last time?"

Jason stared. "Say what now?"

Kyle waved it away. "We may not win, but we can still have fun with it."

"How?" Asked Jason.

Kyle pulled out a grenade. "Like this." He threw the grenade high into the sky, where it arched down towards the other side of the B point area. Right before it hit the ground, Kyle shot the grenade with his sniper rifle and it exploded in a cloud of lightning, killing the enemy Guardian next to it. "See?"

Jason nodded. "Awesome! Let me try." The Hunter threw his tripmine grenade towards the other side and then threw his knife after it. Instead of blowing up the grenade as he had intended, the knife skipped off the ground, while the grenade hit the top of a tall pillar.

After a moment of silence, Kyle turned to Jason. "You disappoint me on so many levels."

Jason sighed. "I know. But at least it can't get any worse, right?"

Then the blade dancer came around the corner.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!" Shouted Kyle and Jason in unison as they ran away from the sprinting Hunter. But as so many Guardians have learned, you just can't outrun a blade dancer. They respawned at their capture point just in time to see the blade dancer come around the corner again, who then proceeded to spawn kill both of them.

"Fuck it." Said Jason, pulling out his Ghost. "I'm outta here." After waiting a few seconds, the Ghost transmatted the pair into their ships.

Now back in orbit, Kyle asked, "Dude, did you just rage quit?"

"Yes." Was Jason's only response.

"Was it really that bad?"

"Yes."

Kyle sighed. "Come on, bro, we all have those days. But you're not bored anymore, right?"

Now Jason sighed. "If anything, I'm even more bored now."

"Relax," Kyle responded. "I heard that there's something new coming out soon. You'll have plenty of new stuff to screw around with then."

Jason shook his head, even though Kyle couldn't see the gesture in his separate ship. "Nope, I have the last-gen Ghost. The Vanguard won't update me on anything that goes on anymore."

"You're still on last-gen?"

Jason shrugged. "What? You think I have the glimmer for the next-gen Ghost?"

Kyle nodded. "True. Still, you're going to be missing out."

"Well," Jason started, "nothing left to do but grind out patrol missions and wait until they release new bounties tomorrow."

"We could always do that Raid." Said Kyle.

"What Raid?" Jason asked.

"Remember? You promised we could do a Raid after we played in the Crucible." Responded Kyle.

Jason sighed. "I did, didn't I?"

"Yeah." Kyle replied.

Jason thought about that for a moment, then said the only thing that felt appropriate:

"Shit."

 **And that ends another chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed. Please leave me a good review and tell me if you spot any typos. If you have any funny Destiny experiences of your own, please also leave a review and talk about them. I enjoy reading them and I'm sure my other readers would also enjoy them.**

 **On a random side note: for some reason my normal method of cutting between parts (a series of underscores) is not working right now, so I've replaced it with a series of X's. I'm not sure currently if has done that to all of my chapters/stories, so I'm sorry if the formatting looks weird in some places. Blame the site, not me.**

 **For the Raid chapter, I'll probably be doing King's Fall. However (confession time)... I've never actually done a Raid before. I know some common complaints about King's Fall and the general playthrough of it, but I apologize in advance if I get some things wrong. Perhaps someone could help me with the Raid chapter(?). I'll probably just watch a walkthrough on YouTube anyways.**

 **This is Sovietshadow, signing out. Have a nice day :)**


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